Nana's Pigeons: A Short Film

Int. Nana's apartment - morning

A quaint and charming living room of an old woman. Black and white photos hung in frames on the wall. Knit blankets and quilts. Antiques and brick-a-brack. A bowl of candy set out on the coffee table.

We hear the sound of a walker slowly inching it's way into the living room, driven forward by NANA (80s).

Despite her age and solitary living, she is in a lovely dress becoming an old woman. She wears makeup, and seems bright and cheerful.

After significant effort, she arrives in the living room, and sits down in her favorite chair.

Sighing contentedly, NANA picks up her word search puzzle, before she's interrupted by the sound of FLUTTERING WINGS.

NANA looks up, outside her large, sliding glass doors to a small balcony outside. The sun is rising - and she sees two pigeons building a nest in a tucked away corner underneath her balcony's overhang.

A smile crosses NANA's lips. She stands up and, with the aid of her walker, crosses the room toward the sliding glass windows.

Smiling up at the pigeons, she admires their nest and eagerly anticipates the coming of their baby birds.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APARTMENT - Balcony - later

NANA's wrinkled hands hang a generously portioned bird feeder up on the outside balcony. She can't reach very high, but she is smiling - glad to be helping out her two new lovebird tenants.

After hanging the bird's nest, NANA looks up at the nest in the corner.

The two terrified PIGEONS stare down at her in horror.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's apartment - moments later

NANA walks back inside from her balcony, pushing her walker before her.

Laughing to herself, she closes the sliding glass door behind her as the PIGEONS rush to the feeder she left for them.

CUT TO:

INT/EXT. NANA's apartment - evening

NANA looks out at the pigeons through her sliding glass door, admiring them with child-like wonder. She waves at them from inside, talking to them-- though her voice is muffled through the glass.

The PIGEONS stare at the bewildering reflection of the glass door in mad horror.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's APARTMENT - NIGHT

Once again, NANA's stroller can be heard entering the living room. This time, NANA appears around the corner, dressed in her night gown. She is coming to say goodnight to her new friends.

Slowly, she crosses the room and approaches the sliding glass doors.

Flicking on a light switch outside, she looks up into the corner to see the two PIGEONS with frozen, wild-eyed expressions of shock.

NANA waves goodnight to the PIGEONS-- before noticing an unsightly white smudge down the length of the glass. She tries to wipe it off with a finger, but it's on the outside.

Looking around her immediate area, she takes a few paper tissues out of a nearby box of tissues.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APARTMENT - NIGHT

The two PIGEONS stare unflinchingly as NANA stands, in her nightgown, silhouetted by the light from inside, cleaning the bird poop off of her sliding glass doors.

Once finished, NANA turns to the PIGEONS and wags her fingers at them in mock-scolding fashion, but smiles and waves goodnight to them as she slowly walks back inside.

INSERT: Close-up of the eye of the PIGEON.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's apartment - morning

NANA's walker appears again, rounding the corner from her bedroom to the living room.

There's a bit more urgency in her walk this morning as she rushes to greet her new friends.

As she approaches the door, her demeanor clouds.

INSERT: NANA POV looking out balcony doors.

NANA looks out at her balcony nearly covered in white and black pools of PIGEON SHIT.

Looking up at the nest, the two PIGEONS stare down at her in wild fear.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APArtment - balcony - LATER

NANA struggles to clean the balcony of PIGEON SHIT.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

NANA scrubs with a sponge and a bucket of hot water.

NANA sprays her now nearly covered glass door.

NANA wipes paper towel over her door's surface-- smearing PIGEON SHIT all around.

NANA sweeps debris over the edge of the balcony, where it cascades down onto the balcony of the tenant living below her.

NANA looks over the edge and, holding her hand to her open mouth, calls down to apologize to the unfortunate resident below.

NANA glowers up at the PIGEONS who regard her with unbridled dread.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APARTMENT - Balcony - continuous

NANA positions the biggest cooking vessel she could find, a large metal baker's mixing bowl, underneath the PIGEON NEST.

She looks up at the PIGEONS in disappointment and irritation. NANA wags her fingers at them.

The PIGEONS respond with cold alarm.

NANA slowly, and painfully, inches her way back to the sliding doors and enters, slamming the door behind her.

The PIGEONS stir at the sound of the slamming sliding door.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's apartment - evening

NANA approaches the glass, looking out at her rude neighbors who have taken up residence on her balcony.

PIGEON SHIT is rampant.

She looks up at the nest. Electrical wires can now be seen amid the twigs and branches that comprise the nest.

Furrowing her brow, NANA cranes her neck, pressing her face against the glass to look at her exterior balcony light.

INSERT: NANA POV looking at the tangle of pecked wires hanging out from around the exterior light bulb.

NANA's face contorts in mounting fury.

The PIGONS' round eyes gaze back in panic.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's APARTMENT - THE NEXT DAY

A DOORBELL RINGS.

NANA pushes her walker as urgently as she can to the apartment door.

She opens it. A tall and rough-looking SERVICE ENGINEER with the name tag "TOM" stands in her doorway.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

NANA and "TOM" stand out on her balcony. She is showing, in exaggerated gestures, the extent of the PIGEON'S TEMPEST OF SHIT on her porch.

At last, NANA gestures over "TOM"s head at the hen-pecked electrical socket that the PIGEONS have used to reinforce their nest.

The two alarmed PIGEONS stare on at them with unease.

"TOM" assesses the damage, but shakes his head.

NANA is confused. "TOM" attempts to explain, gesturing toward the PIGEONS.

With every finger-point, the PIGEONS wince apprehensively, huddled together timidly.

NANA argues with "TOM". "TOM", shaking his head, opens his binder. He withdraws a single sheet of paper and hands it to NANA.

INSERT: Close-up on ENDANGERED NORTH AMERICAN SHITTING PIGEON.

The paper reads, in bold letters at the top, "ENDANGERED NORTH AMERICAN SHITTING PIGEON". Nana scans the page. "Moving or disturbing nesting Shitting Pigeons is punishable by law."

NANA looks back at "TOM", incredulous. "TOM" shrugs.

The PIGEONS shit in unmitigated fear.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's APARTMENT - NIGHT

NANA sits in her chair, glaring out her shit-stained glass door at the two pigeons huddled together in their nest.

NANA looks back at the ENDANGERED NOTH AMERICAN SHITTING PIGEON information sheet in her hand.

INSERT: The paper reads, "Nesting typically takes place from early February to early July."

NANA looks at the calendar on her wall. It's early February.

NANA stands up, takes her walker, and slowly walks over to the sliding glass doors, streaked with huge contrails of pigeon shit.

The two PIGEONS watch in dismay as NANA pulls the curtain closed.

MONTAGE:

INT. Nana's apartment - February to april

SERIES OF SHOTS:

NANA sits in her chair. The apartment is dark and cold, despite the coming SPRING outside.

NANA shuffles around her apartment, coming and going, as the days and weeks roll by.

INSERT: Slow push-in on the terrified PIGEONS outside.

NANA tries to solve her word search puzzle, but is driven to distraction as she stares at the bright SPRING sunlight pouring in around the edges of the large curtain covering her glass door.

NANA peeks out through the edges of the curtain outside. Her face contorts in disgust at the vision outside.

INESRT: Pigeon shit. Molted feathers. Dead insects. Mud. Branches, twigs and leaves.

NANA retreats away from the door as fast as she can.

NANA sits in her chair, arms crossed.

NANA begins to notice the assorted BIRD-THEMED ARTWORK she has all over her walls. Paintings, pictures, figurines and tapestries.

NANA begins turning them over, throwing them into unseen corners behind furniture, and even throwing them in her kitchen waste bin.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's Apartment - bedroom - morning

NANA lies in her bed. The clock on her wall ticks. The wall calendar now reads mid MAY.

NANA'S eyes are shut.

The sound of an egg cracking is heard. A single, fearful, starving PEEP is heard.

More eggs cracking. More terrified and hungry PEEPS until it's a DIN.

NANA frowns in her sleep before slowly rousing. The sun is barely illuminating the edges of her bedroom window cover.

The PEEPING is deafening.

NANA, in irritation, throws her feet over the side of her bed.

Slowly, NANA grabs her walker and pushes it out into the living room.

CUT TO:

INT. Nana's apartment - living room - continuous

In her sleeping gown, NANA crosses the room, her face creased into a frown of rage.

NANA throws open the curtain.

The PIGEONS outside FLUTTER IN HORROR at the sudden, unexpected motion coming from the terrifying reflecting doors.

NANA looks out through her shit-covered glass door to see her porch, utterly transformed and unrecognizable amid the shit and feathers and twigs, to see the two PIGEONS accompanied by five PEEPING BABY PIGEON HEADS, shrieking shrilly.

NANA covers her ears, turning away from the glass doors and staring up at her ceiling in despair.

CUT TO:

INT. NANA's APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

NANA sits in her chair, the curtains pulled aside to reveal her filthy balcony. The incessant PEEPING of the BABY SHITTING PIGEONS muffled vaguely by the glass-- but still audible.

NANA's expression is resigned and distant.

TIME LAPSE: Days pass. The sun rises and sets as NANA sits, her face unchanging, as the BABY SHITTING PIGEONS PEEP in wild horror until, finally, it stops.

END TIME LAPSE.

NANA blinks. Emerging from a daze, she realizes that the PIGEONS have stopped peeping.

NANA puts on her glasses and looks out the window. It's almost entirely covered in PIGEON SHIT, but she can still see the corner where the nest resides.

Straining to see, the NEST IS EMPTY.

Hand shaking, NANA reaches for her walker. Pulling it near, she stands up and walks toward the sliding glass door of her apartment, staring at the nest.

The North American Shitting Pigeons are gone. The balcony is a torrid wasteland of bird shit and feathers-- but they are gone.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA'S APARTMENT - BALCONY - CONTINUOUS

NANA opens the door and steps out onto the balcony. She is disgusted by the condition of the floor, the railing, the walls.

She steps forward, toward the nest, grimacing as she approaches.

INSERT: Close-up on empty nest.

Silence surrounds NANA.

Resolved, NANA reaches for a shit-covered broomstick propped up in the corner of the balcony. Holding it aloft, she knocks the nest down off of the corner, where it falls onto the shit-covered floor.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

NANA cleans the entire porch. It takes her an entire day, but as the sun sets the entire porch has been re-transformed back into its past appearance.

NANA, back aching, returns to her door. Looking up, she sees the pecked and torn wires of her exterior light protruding out of the wall.

NANA frowns, shakes her head, and walks inside.

BLACKOUT.

CUT TO:

SUPER: SEVEN MONTHS later.

Int. Nana's apartment - morning

A quaint and charming living room of an old woman.

We hear the sound of a walker slowly inching it's way into the living room, driven forward by NANA, a year older, but once again in a lovely dress-- loving life.

After significant effort, she arrives in the living room, and sits down in her favorite chair.

Sighing contentedly, NANA picks up her word search puzzle, before she's interrupted by the sound of FLUTTERING WINGS.

NANA looks up, outside her large, sliding glass doors to a small balcony outside. The sun is rising - and she sees two pigeons building a nest in a tucked away corner underneath her balcony's overhang.

A smile crosses NANA's lips. She stands up and, with the aid of her walker, crosses the room toward the sliding glass windows.

Smiling up at the pigeons, she admires their nest.

CUT TO:

EXT. NANA's APARTMENT - Balcony - later

NANA's wrinkled hands throw open the clean sliding glass door.

She reaches in the corner for her clean broom stick.

The two PIGEONS look on at her in horror as NANA bats them away. They fly off into the air in a fearful panic, as NANA knocks the nest they were building out of the corner.

Stooping to pick it up, she sees a small handful of eggs inside.

Turning, she throws the nest into a waste bin set out on the porch.

Looking up into the SPRING sky beyond, she smiles and walks back inside.

INSERT: Close-up of the exterior light fixture, repaired.

NANA slams the sliding glass door shut behind her.

BLACKOUT.

THE END.