On Flies, Bees, the Mentally Ill & Deer


"Flies don't bother explaining to bees why shit tastes better than honey."

"Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, 'I am not paid to listen to this drivel - you are a terminal fool!' Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are." —William S. Burroughs

By the way, the other day I was out walking in the early morning. It was so quiet and serene--when I looked up and chanced to see a large mule deer roaming the property of a house to my right. He was a magnificent specimen--a tall, healthy buck with an impressive array of antlers upon his wise brow like a crown. No meek and timid deer, he--this buck was proud and fearless, paying me no heed as he sauntered confidently through the front yard, stopping when a fence between the properties barred his path. I watched in eager, resplendent wonder at the glory of nature as the buck stood upon its hindquarters and prepared a graceful leap over the obstruction; a tug at my heart at the joy of being alive and the honor of communing with this wonderful creature--a treat which seemed reserved solely for me alone.

Then, in the middle of the deer's leap, his hindquarters got caught up on the top of the fence, making him awkwardly fall forward and collapse in a heap against the other side of the fence. His knees still stuck on the top of the fence, the buck was forced to reach its pointed hoofs out in front of him to clumsily maneuver its legs up over the obstruction, which--after some time of what became, frankly, an embarrassing struggle--finally fell over the other end of the fence in an inelegant collapse. Then, overcompensating, the deer rushed back to its feet and attempted--unsuccessfully, in my estimation--to regain its composure. However, the damage had been done. Shaking my head, I walked on--thinking of how cool the deer's leap over the fence almost was. 

Actually, in retrospect, it was actually kind of cringe. Too bad. 

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