Beneficial Suffering

"Hey, you feeling good?"

"Yes, I am!"

"Great. Because other people are suffering and dying while you're here feeling good."



"Oh."

"Yeah, 'Oh.' Don't feel so good now, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"Wanna help those people?"

"Yes, but how?"

"Destroy the entire system that makes you feel good."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How will that help them?"

"First of all, how dare you ask questions. That's privilege. Second, dismantling the system will help them because the system that benefits you is also the same system that makes them feel bad."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Frankly, I find it annoying you keep asking for clarification after everything I tell you. You really should just believe me-- it'll make this all much simpler for both of us."

"But, how would destroying what makes me feel good help them?"

"Okay, let me break this down for you."

"Okay."

"Okay. You are in this system. You're feeling good."

"Okay..."

"You're paying money--"

"Money."

"...into the system in order to feel good."

"You mean, like, rent?"

"Yes, like, rent-- but also everything else."

"Okay..."

"These people who don't feel good..."

"Yeah?"

"They don't have money."

"They don't?"

"No. So they can't feel good."

"Oh."

"So money is the problem."

"Can we just give them money?"

"That won't work."

"Why not?"

"Lots of reasons. Plus, we've tried that."

"What happened when you tried it?"

"Well, we gave money to certain people to give to those people on our behalf. But the 'certain people' used the money to make themselves feel good, instead."

"Oh."

"They're selfish and evil, huh?"

"Well..."

"Because anybody who uses money to make themselves feel good is selfish and evil, right?" *Eyes you, for emphasis.*

"I guess so."

"And you don't want to be like that."

"Well, I don't want them to suffer and die if I can do anything to stop it."

"Good."

"Good?"

"I mean, 'Right!', that's what I meant to say. 'Right!'"

"So I have to destroy everything that has made me feel good?"

"Think of it this way. Do you really need that?" *Points to thing*

"No. I suppose I don't really need it."

"Then get rid of it."

"Okay." *Gets rid of it* "This is helping?"

"That's just the start. Now do that with everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"But, if I do that with everything, I'll be suffering."

"Just like them, huh?"

"I guess... Won't that just add to the total amount of suffering?"

"Your suffering will be different from theirs."

"How?"

"Because you'll be free."

"Free?"

"Yes. Free from the system that is using you for money and making others without it suffer."

"So my suffering will be good?"

"Try not to think of things you do as 'good,' but, basically yeah."

"So then the system will be destroyed and I can get my stuff back?"

"You're not getting it."

"I'm not getting it."

"As long as you have what others don't have, you'll be contributing to other people's suffering."

"I didn't realize."

"But now you do, because I told you."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you thrown away all your things?"

"Like, most of it. But I've got medical problems."

"Oh."

"Anyway, it's important to not focus so much on what you have or don't have anyway, because there's always going to be someone with more than you that you can guilt into giving up their stuff."

"Oh. So--"

"So join us and together we'll guilt trip people with more than us until..."

"Until the system is destroyed and nobody has anything?"

"Unless...?"

"Unless they have medical problems."

"Right."

"So, that will solve the problem?"

"What problem?"

"The problem of those other people suffering?"

"Oh! Yeah, exactly. Eventually. But there's other problems, too."

"Other problems?"

"Yeah."

"Like what?"

"Can't you just take my word for it?"

"Well..."

"Nevermind. Other problems like, the Earth."

"The Earth?"

"Yeah."

"The Earth is a problem?"

"It's not a problem. It has problems."

"What's the Earth's problem?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah."

"But, we're trying to help end people's suffering."

"Not, like, you and me. And people like us. But, like, in general: us."

"People, you mean?"

*Shudders in pain*

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Don't say that word, please. But, yes. Them."

"They're the problem with the world?"

"Yes."

"Why, again?"

"Because they're evil and because money and because overpopulation and causing the suffering of others and not listening to us."

"What can we do about it?"

"Well once we get them to stop. Then--"

"Stop what?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, everything. Once they stop everything, and everyone is living together, and, like, helping each other, for free, then everyone will have everything that they need and we won't have to hurt the world anymore. Plus a bunch of people will probably die and so overpopulation won't be a problem by then."

"Wait, who's going to die?"

"We don't really know, we don't really care, and as long as it happens it really doesn't matter 'who,' anyway, because it probably won't be the good people anyway, somehow."

"Oh."

"So, whaddya say?"

"What do I say?"

"Yeah."

"To what?"

"To whether you're with us or not."

"Uh, sure."

"Okay, great. Now go find someone and make them feel bad."

"Make them suffer, right?"

"That's the spirit!"

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