Accursed Be the White Nose Hair!


Accursed be thee, yon white nose hair!

Ne'er seen a strand in color so long and fair.

    A wretched pale spire of thy damned kin,

    Thou hast grown too far o'er mine own chin,

    To belie the youthful mirth of thy wearer's face,

    Flaunting thy thread-like wisp in mock disgrace.

Bereft of merit and void of charm art thou,

A ghastly figure now waves unfurled upon my prow.

    Thy wind-blown sprawls o'erreach thy nostril's tomb,

    Clutching like a phantom from thy cavernous womb. 

    O! what vile purpose dost thy girded ivory will intend?

    What quarry seek’st thou, that heaven dare not send?

Would'st thou not resign to dress in shadow?

Prithee, diminish thyself in my beard's dark meadow.

    Shroud thy weedy form in concealment's strength,

    Spare my neighbor's glance thy twisted, gnarled length.

    Do not tempt to steal a wayward or unwary gaze,

    Or call to question my razor's skillful graze.

Begone, faithless and accursed white nose hair!

Thou hast burned bright aloft, and all who see thus stare!

    I pluck thee from the cavernous depths of mine own face,

    And doom thee to wander spiraling currents of empty space.

    I therefore hurl thee to the vast abyssal air beyond,

    Until thy fate be sealed upon the Day of Judgement, anon.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ramble Back

Image
Hopefully these line up. But they might even be better if they don't.  In one particular order: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 70. From what I gather she is quite accomplished. 45. Taking this a step further, I was curious about the etymology. Here's what Vocabulary.com has to say: Manipulative comes from the Latin word manus for "hand," and originally the English words that sprang from it like manipulate and manipulation referred to skill in physically handling objects by hand. The psychological sense we now associate with manipulative came much later on, but as anyone who has been successfully manipulated well knows, it often feels like you've been brilliantly manhandled. 38. Point taken. 15. Society definitely lost something  with the passing of public executions. Some may argue we've become a more cultured, civilized people since then— but there is much that can be said for the powe...
Read more

Milkman of the Ocean

Image
Some people live in a culture where sharing is actively discouraged. And then I think— James Joyce allegedly used to wear a milkman uniform when writing because his eyesight was so bad. Did he just put on the wrong outfit that morning? No. Allegedly, wearing all-white helped reflect light off of his clothes onto the page so that he could see better. This anecdote may not even be true— at least not in the sense that "truth" means it factually occurred. But there is "truth" to it; something that can easily be believed because people are that eccentric and determined to share their vision. It may not have happened in the particular, but it happens in the general every single day, whether you're James Joyce or not (and for the record, I don't claim to be. I've never even read any of his work).  My point is: there's no end to the number of reasons why not to share something. Why it's a bad idea to attempt a connection with somebody— anybody— it doesn...
Read more

Go Back to the Bears

Image
People should consider going back to the forgotten ways.  Living until old age? All my grandfather used to ever warn me about was to never get old.  It never used to be that way. Used to be, you'd be eaten by a bear.  Like that series of shots in Forrest Gump, where Lieutenant Dan's ancestors each die in every American war. Except a long line of distant prehistoric relatives being eaten by a long line of Arctic woolly bears. Maybe that's where the trouble began. One generation that grew up, healthy enough and prosperous enough to not need to risk fighting the bears as much. Then, suddenly, death by bear isn't all that common. A thing which could be avoided. To what end? Disease? Tooth rot? Gangrene? The bears were a blessing. Look at those canines. Perfectly shaped to puncture dense primate skull. We didn't know how good we had it, being eaten by bears. Maybe not in our prime, but only just far enough in decline that we couldn't escape the bears' meathook cl...
Read more